Top 20 things that you can do to cause you to lose your mate. by Ms. BlackButterfly

20. Nagging… No one likes a nagger. That is annoying and who really wants to be around that? It doesn’t matter what you are nagging about. Bills, doing dishes, taking care of the kids… Blah, blah, blah…. If you are gonna be a nag then you are gonna be alone. Find another way to communicate.

19. Lying… I don’t think I need to go too far into this one. But if you can lie, you can cheat. If you can cheat, you can kill. It might sound a bit extreme but hey, who wants to be with someone they can’t control.

18. Not giving them personal space… Even as a couple, you still need to have time away from one another. You need that time to miss each other. When people feel like they are on lockdown and smothered their reaction is to try to break free. Because a person doesn’t want to be up under you 24/7 does not mean they don’t wanna be with you at all.

17. Carrying baggage from previous relationships… Most of us have had our share of heartaches and letdowns from past loves, but we have to learn to let these things go and move on. It is an experience that you should learn from but ever expect to move forward if you are still holding on to the past.

16. Disrespect… This one is definitely at the top of my list. I do not deal with disrespect too well. This is a huge deal breaker for me because if a person don’t respect you then they are liable to treat you any kind of way. Nah, I’m good!!!!

15. Fantasizing about other people and calling out their name during intercourse…. Well hello!!!! Do I need to go any further? For the slow people…. RUN like hell….

14. Being flirtatious… flirting is not really a bad thing, but too much of it should raise some concerns. That will fit right in with being disrespectful. Nobody should feel as special as your mate.

13. Not showing them appreciation… If your mate is going out their way to make you feel special, going above and beyond their call of duty then the least you can do is every now and then you can show them how much you appreciate all that they do.

12. Not making them a priority in your life… Your mate should feel number one all day long. They should never feel like another person is more important than they are. I don’t care if it’s a parent or a child. When you decide to get into a true relationship then you become partners. It’s the two of you against the world.

11. Allowing outsiders into your relationship… You need to tell people to mind their damn business. Listening to your friends and family members is a recipe for disaster. Everybody’s relationship is different so how are you going to listen to someone give you advice on yours? Especially single people. Child please!!!

10. Forgetting who YOU are…. Now this is important and not funny at all. Remember who you are as an individual. You should never change who you are for no one. Always stay true to you. Learn the difference between compromise and change. Learn the difference between bending and folding. This is why it is so important to get to know and love yourself, so when you get into a relationship you don’t just fall for anything.

9. Neglecting your responsibilities…. A relationship is like a full time job. It comes with responsibilities, and like any job, if you do not meet the expectations then you are FIRED….

8. Being stingy with the sex… We all know that sex is very important in a relationship (for most of us at least). You cannot go into a relationship with your sex A game and then start slacking. Huge no no…. If you ain’t giving it to them then you better believe that they will eventually get it from somewhere else.

7. No communication…. Can you say problem? Your mate should be your best friend, your partner, your love. You should be able talk about anything and everything. If you cannot communicate with your partner then it will eventually become a problem. You have to remind your partner that you have more in common with them than just in the bedroom.

6. Cheating…. NEXT!!! LOL

5. Being abusive…. Serious Serious Serious topic….. This is all 20 rolled up into one. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Whether you are beating your mate up physically or beating them down with words, this is not cool and your need to check your punk ass. Eventually a person will get tired of the abuse and either leave or kill your dumb ass.

4. Jealousy…. This is a sickness. We all have our jealous ways in relationships. Some show it more than others, but it’s there. Don’t let this drive your mate away though because jealousies can sometimes borderline insanity. Get to the root of the issue and handle it.

3. Lack of trust… If you have no trust then you have no relationship. If you can’t trust them and/or they can’t trust you then end it and save your sanity. That lack of trust will lead to you doing stuff you never saw yourself doing. Like going through their stuff, invading their privacy, accusing them of stuff that may not exist, losing sleep and going crazy.

2. Stealing…. Funny but not funny. You can’t go stealing from your mate. Nothing… Never... You violate any trust and lose all respect that person has for you. If your relationship is strong enough then you should be able to ask for what you want or need.

1. Getting comfortable…. When you get comfortable in your relationship then you are liable to get disrespectful, cheat, become a abusive and more. Once you have reached the comfortable stage then you pretty much feel like you don’t have to go the extra mile to keep them. You should be doing all that you did to get them and even more to keep them.

Javonte Wooten

Javonte Wooten is a 28 year old new mom trying to make a name for herself in the ever-growing plus sized modeling industry. Her “enjoyable” journey has not been an easy one. Plus sized women have come from a time when becoming a model in this industry was unheard of, to a time where the demand is at an all time high. But that does not make it any easier. Javonte has found the time to pursue her dreams as a model; all while caring for her eleven month old baby girl, graduate from college and still find the time to keep her fiancé smiling. These are all full time jobs that Javonte pulls off effortlessly.

“I want to represent real sized women and show the world that sexy is not just size 6! I feel  that I am a good representation  because I am a regular working gal, but can go from "homegirl" to Diva with a change of my pumps.”

Katrina Robinson article

Katrina Robinson was born and raised in Amelia County, VA. Katrina grew up in the church and remained faithful throughout the years. She has served the church in many capacities by singing in the choir, ushering, teaching Sunday school, she served as a secretary doing administrative work and more. All her life she has always been a Queen Size woman, but for her it was a struggle to recognize herself for who she was. That is not an easy task when you are ridiculed and made fun of throughout school like Katrina was. In the eleventh grad, she was finally able to get a break and find some sort of happiness when she got into her first relationship. He treated her like a Queen and that helped raised her self esteem level a little bit.  She graduated from VCU in 2000 with a degree in Info Systems and got married a couple years later. Things made took a turn for the worst when she got divorced in 2006. She again found herself fighting to find that self love.

Katrina had dreams of becoming a model and an actress. With the help of her friend, she began modeling by December of 2007. Katrina learned that modeling was more than just being a pretty face smiling for pictures. She learned to walk the walk and strut her stuff on the runway like she never imagined in the spotlight. That helped to build her confidence overcome her shyness.

The obstacles that stood in my way were those recurring feelings of low self-esteem and doubt that I felt when people like my family and friends did not support me when I first started. It is still difficult to get people to support the shows that we are in, but I tell myself to keep going and eventually I will make it in the industry with or without them. Another obstacle that almost stood in my way was my age. In my early 30s I felt it was too late to start modeling. I soon realized anyone of any age can be a model. I love it!
My all time goal is to become a print ad model and actress. I have always dreamed of being in magazines and on posters and advertisements, Websites, etc. I would love to be in commercials and on televised fashion shows. In the meantime, I am having a ball and loving the runway scene!