QSM: Ashanti, thank you for sharing your story with us. I,
along with many other women can relate to your story on one level or another.
Did you know that your name means Strong African Woman?
Ashanti: Yes, I did know that and I also know that my name is an
popular African tribe in Ghana.
QSM: Where are you from?
Ashanti: I was born and raised in Crown Heights Brooklyn, NY.
QSM: Do you come from a close nit family? Tell me about your
relationship with your mom.
Ashanti: No, I don't come from a close nit family on my mother’s
side, and my father’s side never really made it their business to form a close
relationship with me. My mother and I were never close until the last couple of
years; she neglected me in my childhood years being that she was going through
her own drama with my father. There were other things going on in her life that
contributed to her decision to leave me with my grandmother. I didn't like my
mother and never wanted to stay with her when I was a child.
QSM: Do you have siblings?
Ashanti: Yes, on my father’s side. I'm my mother’s side I am the
only child.
QSM: You said that you have always been a woman of size; is
that contributed to unhealthy eating habits, medical issues or hereditary?
Ashanti: My weight mainly is hereditary but the extra weight
comes from unhealthy eating habits.
QSM: You have an amazing story so I am going to just go right
into it. Is that ok?
Ashanti: Sure let's go.
QSM: At the age of four years old, did you know what was
happening to you was wrong?
Ashanti: The guy was my mother’s boyfriend’s brother. He was like
my uncle because I remember I called him Uncle Troy. But at that age no I
didn't know that it was wrong but it didn't feel right either.
QSM: You mentioned in your story that you were scared to
tell; why? What did you think would happen to you?
Ashanti: I was scared because he use to give me a look and would
say "this stays between you and me; your Uncle Troy, alright" I would
just look at him and nod my head yes. I thought that if I told that he would
deny it and my mother would believe him.
QSM: What did he end up going to jail for?
Ashanti: I don't know but I was happy when I found out that he
did.
QSM: Does any part of you blame your mother for all that has
happened to you growing up? Do you blame her for not making you feel beautiful?
Ashanti: Yes I did blame her for a lot that happened to me but I
also blamed my father because he wasn't an active figure in my life.
QSM: If you could tell your mother how you really feel, what
would you say?
Ashanti: Well I did speak to my mother and told her everything,
that's the reason why we have such a close relationship now. And she said to me
that she would have believed me if I told her about the molestation of Uncle
Troy and the attempted rape by her ex-fiancé, she also told me she loved me
dearly.
QSM: What is the most and least you have ever weighed in your
life?
Ashanti: Well from what I can remember the least I weighed was
190 and the most 360.
QSM: Have you tried to lose the weight?
Ashanti: Yes plenty of times, I would lose some weight and gain
it right back, even now. The difference is I use to try to lose weight to be
skinny but now I'm trying to lose a little just to be healthy.
QSM: Did you think that you would fit into society better if
you lost weight?
Ashanti: I wanted to lose weight to be skinny because that's what
guys liked, and yes I did think I'll fit in better and I'll get paid attention
to more and also wouldn't have to hear the slick remarks from my family members
about my weight.
QSM: Have you ever been in love? Tell me about that
relationship?
Ashanti: Yes I have been in love, I was young about 17 yrs old,
but the relationship failed because it was me doing everything for him, giving
him all of me and getting nothing in return. He broke my heart, cheated and
all, I even got locked up 4 him, after that I had to pull myself away from him.
QSM: In past relationships, you said that men used you for
money and sex; do you ever feel that you gave up those things just to feel
loved?
Ashanti: Yes, absolutely, I was trying to fill that void in my
life.
QSM: Is there one person in your life that you felt you let
slip through your fingers?
Ashanti: No
QSM: If you could turn back the hands of time and change one
thing, what would it be?
Ashanti: Tell my mother what happened to me earlier.
QSM: With bullying being on the rise, what do you think can be
done about it to stop it?
Ashanti: To be honest I truly don't know, but what I can say is
parents need to develop a good and comfortable relationship with their children
to prevent the child from either being the bully or being bullied.
QSM: Let’s talk about this suicide. How did things get that
bad to where you thought the world would be better off without you?
Ashanti: I felt worthless, relationships failing one after
another, being molested, almost getting raped, having the wrong people in my
life that did nothing but use me. I just wanted to give up.
QSM: What advice will you offer to another young woman today
who is contemplating suicide?
Ashanti: God won't put more on you than you can bear. Your life
is precious and even though things may not be going the way you want it to
right now it’s for a reason, some things we want in life aren't good for us.
Stay strong, keep your faith. Everything will work out; have patience because
taking your life wouldn't be fair to your soul.
QSM: How did you gain your confidence?
Ashanti: Just started loving myself and paid more attention to me
QSM: What does Queen Size mean to you?
Ashanti: Powerful, Strong, Voluptuous, Beautiful curves.
QSM: When you look in the mirror what do you see?
Ashanti: I see a strong beautiful woman who has overcome a lot
and is still struggling to not bring my past to my present but also still
remains humble, kind, and my heart remains pure, very forgiving, and generous.
QSM: You were able to overcome a lot and you are to be
commended for that. Who is Ashanti today and what is she doing?
Ashanti: Ashanti is the same person as far as personality and
qualities; I'm just wiser and more outspoken. I'm currently attending school
for Medical assisting.
QSM: I am proud of the woman you have become. You are truly
deserving of the name Ashanti. Keep pressing forward. Let us know what to
expect from you in the next few years?
Ashanti: Honestly I don't know where I'll be or what anyone can expect from me in a few years, so
wherever God takes me that's where I'll be. I appreciate you choosing me to be on the cover of Queen Size
Magazine.
QSM: You deserve it. The pleasure was all ours.
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